A bowl full of jello

My friends and family are worried about me – I took all the ornaments off the tree and put them in jello. What should I tell them? Where can I get help?

I’m hot for hot chocolate

I’ve been missing work because I’m obsessed with using an exacto knife to carve snowmen out of mini-marshmallows for hot chocolate. Do you have any suggestions for me?

Christmas in the Clink

A policeman had to escort me out of CVS and take me down to the station because I was hyperventilating in a paper bag (they were out of Christmas lights) and making a scene – do you think I might have holidayitis?

Scratchy …

When I think about going to the mall, I break out in a red rash all over my body. Sometimes my scalp also itches. Is there hope for me?

Help!

We think our friend might be suffering from holidayitis. She wrapped herself in a box that said “Don’t open until Christmas” – it’s been 3 days. Should we get help?

Fashion advice?

I’ve been trying to work more wrapping paper into my wardrobe. Do you have any tips for accessorizing? I don’t want to look tacky.

Chose Black Friday over my best friend

I missed my best friend’s wedding for a Black Friday sale (but I got a great deal on a new Blueray player). Do you think I might have holidayitis?